Dear Editor,

Thanks to all the Oklahoma grandparents, mothers and fathers who voted for the legalization of marijuana for medical treatment — NOT!

Since the clear intent of these drug pushers is to increase the use of recreational marijuana under the guise of “medical” treatment, you have sent a wonderful message to our children. Grandma and grandpa say it is fine to smoke the hooch.

Now, I’m sure the profiteers of marketing marijuana have hundreds of prewritten talking points to obscure the obvious, but their self-serving arguments are totally transparent and silly ... and they absolutely fool no one but themselves. It is comical for them to think that they are convincing anybody. Their goal is to legalize marijuana, try to convince people that it causes no harm and to make a bucket-load of money off of a generation of deadheads. Use your right thumb and forefinger and put the “L” over your forehead. You are losers. Complete, total, airhead losers.

Brains are precious reservoirs of who we are. Every memory from our first dog to our first love is a biological-chemical chip logged into our neurological library. If I could use micro-surgical tweezers, I could pull every memory out of your head, piece by piece. Goodbye Fluffy. Goodbye ability to speak. Goodbye bladder control. Chemicals can disrupt these delicate molecules and, poof, they are gone forever — chemically-induced Alzheimer’s. From intelligence to judgment, they can be destroyed just as they are with a stroke or severe head trauma. These drugs are a protracted cerebrovascular accident. They will slowly take away who you are and biochemically remove you. I fear nothing more than a stroke, and I would do everything to avoid having a stroke — exercise, proper diet and not using mind-altering drugs.

So, for evidence-based medicine guidelines for marijuana use, that’s why there are pharmacies. For smoke shops that cater to the illegal use of marijuana, shame on you. I assume you avoid looking into mirrors to avoid your shame, or, perhaps, because of a fear that there will be no image of you in the mirror at all.

My argument has been totally secular. That’s the way I discuss issues like this. But for those people who illegally distribute marijuana for greed, I can’t help but think of what my grandpa told me once.

“John, they don’t take cash in Hell.”

It’s funny that elders can say in one sentence what it takes the rest of us six paragraphs to say.

Grand Canyon Guru Garber, Doc Zombie, Mr. Fourth of July — Dr. John Garber, Ada

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