theadanews.com - Ada, Oklahoma

Weddings

September 25, 2011

Gallup, Garber marry in church ceremony

(Continued)

Ada —

The Bride is Mary Elizabeth Allison Gallup; street name, Bubbles. Once known as the “Upcoming Queen of the Tackle and Bait Industry,” she has shunned public adoration her whole life.  She played a dominant role in winning an episode of FAMILY FEUD in the days when polyester bellbottoms were big, especially the one’s her sisters wore. She was known as “Superstar Gallup” in her Stratford Bulldog days and holds a distinction of having averaged 33 points per game during her High School career, while she maintains that the steroid rumors were bogus, and that she’s not Russian anyway. She went on to be a member of the John F. Kennedy College Basketball Team in Kansas, a college that promptly went bankrupt and closed forever. Her sophomore year of college she was offered a full basketball scholarship to University of Nebraska which she turned down because, like so many others, who would want to be called a Cornhusker?  The Bride’s kin prefer not to be identified, somewhat like the Bride herself. The Bride’s dog has been missing for over a year, so if he is reading this, please come home...we know that cat thing was an accident.

The honeymoon destination is a secretive resort area that rhymes with Wapanuka and has online Hamster fighting. If you have any interest in scheduling your honeymoon at this location, contact Ronald Boggs, at #580-Mr. Love.

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