theadanews.com - Ada, Oklahoma

September 25, 2011

Gallup, Garber marry in church ceremony


The Ada News

Ada —  

On the evening of Sept. 16, 2011, Mary Lee Elizabeth Gallup and Dr. John Michael Garber were married in holy matrimony in a candlelight ceremony at First United Methodist Church in Ada.

The Rev. David Daniels presided with music by Rudy Lupenski and Tony Mondejar.

Bridesmaids were Debbie Thompson, Darlene Hansen and Allison Krause.

Groomsmen were Dr. Gabe Garber, Dr. Lance Garber and John Luke Garber.

Ring bearers were Masters Xander and Set Garber.

The bride and bridegroom were honored to have Troop 13 Boy Scouts as greeters and ushers.

Following the ceremony, guests were treated to a four-tiered white Beauty and the Beast bride’s cake and a Star Wars chocolate groom’s cake.

Snow cones, soda from Pops Route 66 and gourmet candy were in abundance along with two baby tigers, a haunted house and a 20-foot tall inflatable obstacle course.

The couple whisked away on their honeymoon to the first of their many adventures.

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The groom's response 

Mary Elizabeth Allison Gallup and Dr. John Michael Yanni Garber were married at First Methodist Church on September 16 in an evening ceremony. The Bride said the Groom looks in the dark.

The Groom is Dr. John Y. Garber; street name, Hunk-of-Burning-Love. His mother and sons prefer not to have their names published. His dog is Fluffy. The Groom’s other relatives are Adam and Eve, and the Bride’s relatives go back even further.  In college the Groom graduated in the top 99% of his class. He is a professional humorist, taxidermist, astrologer, Palin advisor and liar.   He has accomplished nothing in the first half of his life, plans to double that in the second half, and triple it in the third half. His name is mentioned by Neil Shusterman in EVERFOUND, by Joseph R. Garber in WHIRLWIND, and by his pastor in frustration. He denies all rumors of movie offers, positive paternity tests, or having participated in the Ada lynching.

The Bride is Mary Elizabeth Allison Gallup; street name, Bubbles. Once known as the “Upcoming Queen of the Tackle and Bait Industry,” she has shunned public adoration her whole life.  She played a dominant role in winning an episode of FAMILY FEUD in the days when polyester bellbottoms were big, especially the one’s her sisters wore. She was known as “Superstar Gallup” in her Stratford Bulldog days and holds a distinction of having averaged 33 points per game during her High School career, while she maintains that the steroid rumors were bogus, and that she’s not Russian anyway. She went on to be a member of the John F. Kennedy College Basketball Team in Kansas, a college that promptly went bankrupt and closed forever. Her sophomore year of college she was offered a full basketball scholarship to University of Nebraska which she turned down because, like so many others, who would want to be called a Cornhusker?  The Bride’s kin prefer not to be identified, somewhat like the Bride herself. The Bride’s dog has been missing for over a year, so if he is reading this, please come home...we know that cat thing was an accident.

The honeymoon destination is a secretive resort area that rhymes with Wapanuka and has online Hamster fighting. If you have any interest in scheduling your honeymoon at this location, contact Ronald Boggs, at #580-Mr. Love.