Lone Beasley Publisher firstname.lastname@example.org
The Ada News
This Tuesday is first weigh-in day for The Ada News and participating sponsors’ Greatest Loser Contest. Participants will step up on scales located at Perks Club, 117 S. Townsend in Ada and continue doing so each Tuesday until April 9th, at which time one male and one female greatest loser of total weight over the 13 week period will be determined. Results will be published each Friday in The Ada News.
As in previous Greatest Loser contests, participants were allowed to have their identities shielded by way of a “user name,” which is to say a nickname. As in previous contests, some are of special interest. Several refer to what is apparently their food vice of choice. Chocoholic, Dumplin, Loves Sweets, Butter Ball, Sugar Tush, and No More Donuts fall into this category.
One competitor, Brandy Candy, combines two vices. Flabby Jelly 21 seems to be saying his food preference has become so much a part of him; it is him, or at least that part of him that is his stomach.
Others refer directly to what they must think they see when they look in the mirror. Fat ‘N Fluffy, Big Belly, Chub, Chunker, Plumper, Flabby McGee, Thick Chick, and Fatty Patti fit into this category. The contestant referred to as Pleasantly Plump proves not everyone is hypercritical about his appearance.
Dough Boy and Corporal Loser may have been thinking of past military glory when they chose their monikers.
Think Less of Me and Think Thin surmise their weight loss must start between the ears as opposed to their mouths. By the time one gets to the dinner table it is probably too late to start thinking about cutting back. Will Power’s user name shares this notion of what it really takes to lose unwanted pounds. The aroma alone of a great meal will knock good intentions out of the park if they aren’t supported by ample quantities of willpower.
Some fake names were born of positive images. There are two who picked Sunshine as their nickname, so one will have to be Sunshine 1 and the other Sunshine 2. There is also an Autumn Sunshine.
The name Do It For Me can be taken in a number of ways, depending on the emphasis given each word of the name. Undoubtedly though, he or she meant to stress “Me.” It is a great sentiment. Anyone who takes on the rigors of losing weight probably won’t succeed if it’s being done for someone else. Other self motivating contestants’ names include Something to Prove, Never 2 Late, Transformer, and Determined to Get Healthier.
The only one naming a weight loss strategy in a name was Fruit Ninja, unless you count Booger, and let’s hope not.
One, it seems to me, sums up for all the difficulty of shedding pounds that have taken decades to pack on. It is a wistful name, one in which most of us can relate...
...O2B Skinny Again.