Sometimes I think Erma Bombeck's soul entered my body when she passed away and I got her life, minus the husband and the children. I think this because her catch phrase of "If life is a bowl of cherries, then why am I in the pits?" almost always applies to me.

Maybe I should come up with my own catch phrase. Let's see...how about "God needs to laugh too. That's why He made me." Sometimes I think He messes with me because maybe He gets a little bored and needs a good chuckle.

Take last week, for example. Of course, as always, I worked a long, difficult day at the newspaper, scampering around to get my Lifestyles section of Sunday's paper done a day early since I was taking off Saturday, which is when I usually finish my section.

Of course, in the middle of all of this is when I got my monthly visit from "Aunt Flo." After work, I had to rush home and rapidly shower and wash my hair before a performance which I was working backstage on with one of our local theatre groups. As is expected with me, things went wrong all through the performance.

Finally, the performance ended and I decided I would go to the all-night Wal-Mart and buy myself some Midol. I wasn’t just thinking of myself. It was for the good of everyone around me, really.

When I arrived at Wal-Mart around 10:30 or 11 p.m., I got my Midol, a few other necessities, and, naturally, a chocolate bar. The things one needs at such a time.

Upon arriving at home, I put my pajamas on, and prepared to take some Midol, enjoy my chocolate bar, and relax. I looked through my bags and noticed several items missing, to include my Midol and my chocolate. I telephoned Wal-Mart and told the lady on the other end what had happened. She was quite pleasant and told me I could come back tomorrow and pick up said items. Now, under the influence of PMS, I complained a little bit about not having said items. Ok, if I’m honest, I complained a lot. Then I said, not so quietly, "I wouldn't normally be so upset about something like this, but...YOU HAVE MY MIDOL!!!!!!"

After she stopped laughing, the woman told me she understood my dilemma and assured me that I could pick my things up the next day, which I did.

The world was a much safer place after that.

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