“Who could have expected Cali’s sudden success after one failure after another?” questioned Fox News guru Bill O’Reilly. “The scary part is that if he loses his lead and doesn’t win the 2013 title, America may never recover.”
Meanwhile, Myers, who was a slight favor to win this year’s race according to media experts across the globe, is taking his dreadful start very hard.
“I don’t even know what to say,” Myers said while pushing his way through a throng of reporters on his way to the reduced price meat bin at Apple Market. “I don’t have any comment. I’m as shocked by Cali’s rise as all of you are.”
Former champion Leo Kelley, who has reportedly went into hiding since his last failed attempt at another prediction race crown, tweeted the following message.
“I’m pulling for the big guy. He’s making Uncle Jonas more proud of him that he ever was of me.”