Jeff Cali Sports Editor firstname.lastname@example.org
As the government shutdown trudges past the week-long mark, political and sports analysts alike may have found a new scapegoat.
Instead of throwing the blame at temper tantrum-throwing Republicans or non-negotiating Democrats, there has been a new name linked to shutdown. And it’s none other than. Wait for it. ... yours truly, Ada News Sports Editor Jeff Cali.
Heading into Week 6 of The Ada News Football Prediction Race, the name Cali is at the top of the nine-person standings. A 9-1 mark in Week 5 (he missed Coalgate’s road loss at Tishomingo and rumor has it he’s been pouting about it ever since) vaulted him to the top with an overall record of 34-16. Wily veterans Joe Claxton and Art Lawler are both a game back at 33-17 while the upset-minded Eric Swanson and Ada News publisher Loné Beasley follow at 32-18.
It should be noted that multiple time champ James Myers is near the bottom of the pack at 29-21.
“Could the pure shock that Jeff Cali is leading the prestigious Ada News Prediction Race after Week 5 with the field as large as it’s ever been have something to do with the government shutdown?” asked CNN newsman Anderson Cooper. “Are our Democrat and Republican leaders trying to shoulder the blame while realizing Cali is the culprit? These are fair questions.”
The sports world has definitely been abuzz since Cali’s 9-1 effort was completed last Sunday.
“I always thought Cali had another championship run in him,” said ESPN anchor Chris Berman. “He’s kind of the Tony Romo of Ada News Football Predictions. He’s come so close to a championship so many times only to blow it unexpectedly in the end. But his work through five weeks is nothing short of impressive.”
Some still believe Cali’s sudden climb to the top of the Prediction Race ladder and the start of the government shutdown simply can’t be coincidental. It’s a well-known fact that Cali hasn’t won prediction gold since Bill Clinton was president.
“Who could have expected Cali’s sudden success after one failure after another?” questioned Fox News guru Bill O’Reilly. “The scary part is that if he loses his lead and doesn’t win the 2013 title, America may never recover.”
Meanwhile, Myers, who was a slight favor to win this year’s race according to media experts across the globe, is taking his dreadful start very hard.
“I don’t even know what to say,” Myers said while pushing his way through a throng of reporters on his way to the reduced price meat bin at Apple Market. “I don’t have any comment. I’m as shocked by Cali’s rise as all of you are.”
Former champion Leo Kelley, who has reportedly went into hiding since his last failed attempt at another prediction race crown, tweeted the following message.
“I’m pulling for the big guy. He’s making Uncle Jonas more proud of him that he ever was of me.”