Marriages are the same way. While dating/courting we put a lot of deliberate effort into learning about and meeting the needs of our hoped-for partner. The relationship thrives and grows. What happens when the wedding ceremony is over?
Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled believes that a soulmate mentality sets our culture up for having one of the highest divorce rates in the world.
He believes that what makes a good marriage is not finding the right person, but having the three ingredients of absolute commitment, good tools, and hard work. It’s like riding a bicycle uphill. As long as you are pedaling, you do fine. But, if you stop pedaling and coast, the only direction you can go is downhill—entropy.
Romantic behavior is different than romantic belief. Romantic behavior is fun and purposeful and can create an ongoing thrill and a deep and abiding contentment in a marriage. A romantic belief system can kill a marriage.
Instead of looking for a new person, start looking for new tools.