Art Lawler Staff Writer firstname.lastname@example.org
The Ada News
Yes, it’s true that Lance Armstrong beat testicular cancer.
He looked it straight in the eye and lied to it. Not only lied to it, but made it believe he was telling the truth to it.
So cancer, totally duped by Lance, subsided. At least that’s one theory.
Lance, as we all know by now, lied to us, too and made believers out of many. He is a liar, the kind of which we may have never seen before but will surely see again.
When Lance lies, he lies with the Hall of Fame liars of all time. Clinton had nothing on this fella. If Lance had told us he had never had sex with “that woman” he wouldn’t have had to come back a week or so later to tell us he was lying, “that he’d had inappropriate relations with Ms. Lewinsky.”
No, Lance would have waited another 13 years or so, then told us that, well, yes, he lied about Monica. He just wanted to. “Terrible thing,” he’d say. “Dang me, they ought to take a rope and hang me.”
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