As I add thought and ink to this paper; I am overwhelmed! These last few years have been strenuous ones. Restless nights have sort of become my normalcy.

First, I do wish to convey an apology to you. The burden on my conscience has become almost unbearable.

Understand though, Salicia, I do not seek your acceptance of this apology...it is actually a battle I engage in with my inner being. I truly believe that harboring the supernatural ability to apologize displays maturity, a sense of growth in my manner.

We have been distant. And believe that time has dragged by with an agonizing slowness. Each second aches like the blood pulsing behind a wound; but time does pass... even for the likes of myself.

I wonder often, how is she doing? Is she okay? Does she still think of me? Whatever happened to us? I do have much to say, but unfortuantely, I have such a limited time to express this abundance of overwhelming

emotion. As you may be aware, we still may have contact as authorized by the courts, but the stipulation states that you have to initiate the contact.

Truly, I pray that you do. I pray that you harbor the strength and forgiveness to travel this journey with me. Not really to keep me company. Although this may help, but more so that you can bear witness to my growth. The evolution of boy to man. You still hold a piece of my heart and truly from the bottom of it.

I do apologize, forgive me.

Rafael Diroche